i am in love.
i love seeing love.
love loves loving me.
God is love.
Ben and Mariana love each other,
Joey and Hanna love each other,
Luke and Kaity love each other,
Scott and Laurie love each other,
i love Callie and she loves me.
i love everyone i have ever met
which is weird. lol. love is pretty
weird though too. True love is
actually really intense, i didn't
think it would be. i can't grasp it
at all, like the trinity oh my gosh!
chocolate is really good but it does
not love me and i cannot love it.
only people can love people, God made
it that way.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
disciple...maybe heresy :o
Luke 14:26 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.
Mt 16:24 Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me."
I have been thinking about this verses since yesterday.
They have actually been in my head put together as one.
Saying " if anyone does not deny his own father and mother and wife and chldren and brothers and sisters, yes even his own life, he cannot be my disciple."
Hopefully i am not preaching heresy here...lol
Basically, culturally to deny your mother and father (family), was to deny your self worth. Being that culturally, honor was everything. Therefore denying yourself with in denying your family name, which was your main source of honor, meant a whole lot more than if we were to deny our family today.
Equivalently i think to be a disciple of Jesus one would need to deny their own self worth. Finding one's self worth is where the spend the most time...it can be in your relationships, your possessions you have accumulated, your talent(s), your knowledge, anything that you would call your own and not belonging to anyone else.
To be a disciple of Jesus is therefore to strip oneself of their (honor)Culturally meaning self-worth; replacing that with the label of bondservant. Being a servant of Christ is a disciple, carrying your cross is a disciple, loving others and God is a disciple, having self-worth in things other than your servant hood for Christ is i believe denying Christ himself as your rabbi, savior, or God.
Mt 16:24 Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me."
I have been thinking about this verses since yesterday.
They have actually been in my head put together as one.
Saying " if anyone does not deny his own father and mother and wife and chldren and brothers and sisters, yes even his own life, he cannot be my disciple."
Hopefully i am not preaching heresy here...lol
Basically, culturally to deny your mother and father (family), was to deny your self worth. Being that culturally, honor was everything. Therefore denying yourself with in denying your family name, which was your main source of honor, meant a whole lot more than if we were to deny our family today.
Equivalently i think to be a disciple of Jesus one would need to deny their own self worth. Finding one's self worth is where the spend the most time...it can be in your relationships, your possessions you have accumulated, your talent(s), your knowledge, anything that you would call your own and not belonging to anyone else.
To be a disciple of Jesus is therefore to strip oneself of their (honor)Culturally meaning self-worth; replacing that with the label of bondservant. Being a servant of Christ is a disciple, carrying your cross is a disciple, loving others and God is a disciple, having self-worth in things other than your servant hood for Christ is i believe denying Christ himself as your rabbi, savior, or God.
hope
What happens when you hurt someone you love everyday, everyday not because you want to but because you have to. Everyday isn't guided by will or choice but by fate,a fate you never agreed upon. One moment leads to the next and you can never go back, ever. There is no more feeling, no pain, no joy, no
love,you go numb. Each day seems promising as a "new day", but it
never Satisfies. Hungrier and hungrier, weaker and weaker,
Deprived and stricken, you go on because life must Go on.
There is no rest for your soul, there is no Comfort for your
mind, your heart beats to a Dull, quiet rhythm.
Everyone thinks you Have it all figured out,
you don’t.You wonder, Where is the
Hope that other's have Found?
Why can’t I Be
like others,
With
Joy?
You get up everyday,
Finding only that you relentless
Strength. Your wounds heal themselves,
But you cannot see them. Your mind is being
Renewed, not discomforted. Your stomach is satisfied,
Not hungry. Your heart is calming, It is changing not dying.
The absence of feeling, is the change of how you feel. Your receptors
Are being replaced, with the best. You are not changing, You are being changed. During this seemingly relentless process, what keeps you alive during it all is hope. Hope Is instilled in your every fiber to ensure your trust through the process. You are a new creation, Being hand crafted by the true creator of the universe, Your heavenly, almighty, loving, Father in heaven.
love,you go numb. Each day seems promising as a "new day", but it
never Satisfies. Hungrier and hungrier, weaker and weaker,
Deprived and stricken, you go on because life must Go on.
There is no rest for your soul, there is no Comfort for your
mind, your heart beats to a Dull, quiet rhythm.
Everyone thinks you Have it all figured out,
you don’t.You wonder, Where is the
Hope that other's have Found?
Why can’t I Be
like others,
With
Joy?
You get up everyday,
Finding only that you relentless
Strength. Your wounds heal themselves,
But you cannot see them. Your mind is being
Renewed, not discomforted. Your stomach is satisfied,
Not hungry. Your heart is calming, It is changing not dying.
The absence of feeling, is the change of how you feel. Your receptors
Are being replaced, with the best. You are not changing, You are being changed. During this seemingly relentless process, what keeps you alive during it all is hope. Hope Is instilled in your every fiber to ensure your trust through the process. You are a new creation, Being hand crafted by the true creator of the universe, Your heavenly, almighty, loving, Father in heaven.
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
pokemon
i cannot believe i was up till 330 playing pokemon last night!
my roomate played wow all semester and i wasn't happy
about it, now im playing pokemon all day! such a silly
my roomate played wow all semester and i wasn't happy
about it, now im playing pokemon all day! such a silly
Monday, May 4, 2009
love pt. 1
the love given to me is almost always unexpected, i have not been able to search for love and find it in one place like a search for lost treasure but when i least expect it. there are times when i have no hope in what is before me but i am revived by some random piece of love. it has seemed random for my whole life but im wondering if it is or not. it is such a wonderful feeling to imagine God smiling down at me when i smile back at Him after his blessing. it is worth every hard time to press through the what i call (jello).
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